The List

Went to Ingles the other day with a “list” for Cheryl. Why she sends me to those places I don’t know. There is a strange logic that governs supermarkets that only women can discern. She sent me to fetch a package of walnut halves to use on a pie. Sounds simple enough. Well, that just shows how much you know. I wandered through the wilderness of boxes and packages and cans for 40 minutes desperately looking for walnuts. Nothing. Not even a pillar of fire by night!

Turned down aisle five and ran into Dan and Ron, two retired guys at the church where I served as interim pastor, hunched in a hopelesss huddle both with their own lists! I joined them.

“Where do you suppose they keep the birdseed?” Dan asked.

Ron and I both looked at each other, looked at our own lists, and said in unison: “Search me!”

“Where do you think the nuts are?” I asked. Sometimes, it’s just too easy.

“I think they’re right here looking at these stupid lists,” Ron said.

“Well, this is the blind leading the blind,” said I.

Dan said: “I’m gonna find me a woman!”

Oh yes. The walnuts. They were on aisle seven – with the baking goods!!! Who knew????

And every woman out there is thinking: “Idiot!”